“The heart has reasons of which the mind knows nothing.”
~ French philosopher Pascal
While getting my PhD in San Francisco (which seems like ages ago), I had an interest in gender studies and sex therapy. After graduate school, I continued to learn and work with clients around issues of gender, sexuality, sex, and relationships but I also shifted and put more of my energy into learning about body-oriented therapies such as yoga and somatic experiencing. Years later when I moved back to the Midwest and started my private practice, I was more outspoken about my emphasis on mind-body and holistic psychology, while sex therapy took a backseat. Eventually I was able to reflect and confront myself: ‘If you truly believe in promoting people’s sexual health, why didn't you name that in an outright way and speak more overtly about the importance of sex therapy when you opened your practice?’ Although now these interests have been integrated together in my business, it's interesting how my subconscious fears of judgement silenced me at the time.
Since I didn't do it as fully back then, let me speak a little louder now -- my work as a therapist is personal, just as any artist or writer connects their everyday life to their craft. But even more importantly, my work as a therapist is political. A healthy therapist is aware of what their politics are. With the state of politics being what it is right now, no one in my field can afford to sit back and be a spectator. It’s time to stand up for what you believe in, even if you think you might be judged or lose a potential client. So I will continue to speak on topics that might be uncomfortable for some, because shame thrives on silence and I'm here to combat shame.
To that end, I believe in reducing people’s shame around sex and their bodies, so we can show up for one another with inner peace, vitality and authenticity. I want to support you in who you love, how you love and what gives you healthy pleasure, which is your birthright. And I want to spread this message beyond the confines of my therapy office to the public, where the conversation also needs to happen - whether it be pop up events like the one I’m hosting with Flirt Boutique on September 28th, or workshops in studios like the one I’m teaching on October 28th at Open Minds Fusion Studio. Plan to see more events, workshops, and writing from me on this topic. Because too many people are stuck, guilted, afraid, or ashamed of something within them that is a primal, natural, potent part of being human.
Check out this hilarious video of one my mentors, Seane Corn, talking about her own mother's openness with her body. It's these kinds of real, open conversations that help create a sex-positive attitude!